Beautifully Perfect!

Today was and still is, a Beautifully, Perfect Day! Why?

The sky, a 'BP' shade of BLUE! The warmth of the sun? 'BP!'  Had a chance to sleep-in this morning, in my 'BP' snuggly bed; awake to the sunshine, get lazy-sleepy all over, and NAP under a cozily-'BP' quilt!!

And WHO hung out with me all day? My amazingly 'beautifully-perfect' daughter-- my champion, confidante and friend!

After one of my recent reconstructive breast surgeries, my co-workers gifted me with a Victoria's Secret gift card-- and I waited for months for healing to take place, before using it. (Also, not enjoying the whole 'fitting' process-- I sorta dreaded it. Shopping with Cait made me feel braver and today was the day!)

In a 'BP' way-- the first B-R-A (sorry, boyz!) I tried on, was actually the most 'BP' one for me!! Caitlin and I shopped, tried-on and made decisions, and I actually spent my gift card (and then some!), to reach personal Nirvana!!

I also had a Most 'Beautifully Perfect' Recollection of bra-shopping two years ago, right before my diagnosis, and discovering that I was 'too large' a person for any Victoria's Secret bras.  

It's sad to weigh more than you want to, feeling frumpy, and old; shocked that, 'THAT'S NOT ME!' (And sadly--it is)... Wanting to feel pretty and sexy, and being 'too big' for THAT.

Today, I remembered that personal heartache in the dressing room two years ago- and the amazement that today--

I DO FIT!!

Ha! Of course my chest looks like Route 66 with a roundabout or two, but today was a mental milestone. 

And NOW...

Day Two of my 'Thankfuls':

1--Girl-Time with my Caitlin!

2--My Moment at Victoria's Secret!

3--Stopping to SMELL these ROSES!

    

Thank You, God!

I'm Still Alive...

A holiday weekend of adventure ahead!

Traeger-roasted chicken and roasted asparagus tonight, wine, popcorn and Gilmore Girls.

So tired...tucked into my bed at daughter, Caitlin's. Tomorrow, I'll experience a 'ride along,' and see part of what Evan does.

Looking forward...

Blog-Lovin' Not So Much!

Hi There, Little World!

Been a long, L. O. N. G. time since I was here! I didn't love the 'chemo brain' excuse when I was having chemo this March-April-May, but hey! I the 'real world,' I'm gonna use it FOREVER!!

I'm so much stronger and better now!

I was able to make my first quilt for Greenbaum's as a sample, back in June-- including the quilting! That felt overwhelming, exciting, and exhausting-- all at the same time.

I discovered in July, after my treatments were complete, that my boss had replaced me at work. 

What utter discouragement.

At present, I am looking, anew; keeping quilting, and blogging new merchandise each week for the quilt shop. I LOVE MARKETING!! So much fun sharing enthusiasm for merchandise you believe in!

I have a couple new quilting/ quilty girlfriends who've stitched their way into my weekly schedule and my heart! I've tried out some new ideas and patterns, attempting to grow my skills and just savor the fun of crafting quilts.

I am so thankful for how far I've come... Nearly 1 year ago, I got my breast cancer diagnosis. My world turned upside down-- but not for long!

God was there! Family, Friends, and even Facebook was there (great support and encouragement!!), comfort food, outstanding medical teams, Odwalla Juices, Pop-Tarts! (Lol-only a couple!), and PRAYER ALL OVER THE PLACE!!

These are the things which save you. And a kitty.

And a sense of humor.

Laugh about losing a boob (one less politician in this world!)

Laugh about losing hair (don't have to worry about having 'Hat Hair'!)

Laugh about losing your memory to chemo ("what was your name AGAIN?"!  Or- "Someone else has to drive, make the brownies, take me for a manicure...!!! I just CAN't remember how to: get there, bake!, or Find the Salon!")

The best medicine is laughter, and Faith!

If you believe in God and His Promise of Heaven when we die, we have not a thing to worry about. Even if my cancer returns, I don't worry! I tackled it once; I can do it again! And-- if I'm not here in this world-- I go straight into the next!

(Blog-Lovin' the blog-reading site-- has me stumped in a 'Catch-22' mode with a forgotten password, today!) ... Deleted the app off my phone! Lol!)

If all else fails- LAUGH!

Dear Friend:

You've just seen the inside of my survival kit!

Thank You, God!

Today I was able to use my sewing skills to make quilt blocks for the 'First Saturday' Block-of-the-Month program at Greenbaum's.  The fun part is seeing the completed block before any of the 'club' participants! I also get to help plan the colors and fabrics which will be used in the blocks each month.

So- photos of the block? Nope! It's a secret for now! I can share a photo of my close compadré and 'secret-keeper, Maggie...

She tucked herself into my scrap-box to take a little nap while I was away helping finish kit-folding at the store.

It's gonna be a fun 'B.O.M' quilt for people to make, and today- I'm thankful to be ALIVE!

Much joy can come from simple things:

A warm kitty, and a well-pieced quilt block!

Bye for now!

What A Long Strange Trip It's Been...

Late at night

Need to Sleep

Miss my blog

Need to Write.

Chemo Brain

Makes me Forget 

Where I leave Things;

I Regret

Not knowing;

Don't Care

I forget

My Underwear!

Miles to go

And now, no job

Why am I here

I fear and Wob-

Ble in my heart-- the

Bills overwhelm and

Nothing I can do--

I cry overcome

And give this mess to You.

God, 

You came through in Cancer,

And were there during Chemo.

You took my burns in Radiation.

And you're restoring me inside.

I fall and I'm weak, and fear ill never be strong. This path up this mountain to health is so hard to climb. I know you go with me;

I know you've been there,

You've cried every tear with me-

You've named each new hair!

Thank you for hearing the pain in my soul.

It was really tough today, God...

But with You, I'm Made Whole!

'This Old Man...'

Hi Friend,

I've now made it through two rounds of chemo... Hey! That's HALFWAY!!

That's HUGE!!


My head is pretty much bald-- I have a couple weeks growth following my 'Beauty Rampage' party, which TOTALLY ROCKED!!


It was better than the time I got my wisdom teeth out under Valium, Novocaine, and Laughing Gas!! (And that WAS SO MUCH FUN that I told the oral surgeon he could yank them all out!)

I really did!

(However, We did not go to that extent!)


What is chemo like? I gotta write this down so as not to forget the 'specialness' of my experience!


There is LOSS OF HAIR = good and bad!
Bad side=is losing it on ones head--and I had a GOB!

Good side= is not having to shave legs, armpits, and any other girly things! ALSO, I know now why men 'get ready' so much faster than women!!


There is ACHINESS in my bones like the flu...
Bad Side=when you hurt like that, it wears your spirit down.

Good Side=just say the word and you've got prayer support all OVER THE PLACE!


There is NAUSEA!
Bad Side= it's Nauseating to think about- and can attack at random moments, like in the middle of your favorite resale shop in front of your daughter and friend;

the steps you run through are lightheartedness, spots in front of your eyes, head between your knees, getting to the bathroom for WHATEVER, BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT is about to happen! Then, all you can think of is a cold, wet paper towel: how it is suddenly so perfect, and golden, as you lie on the linoleum floor-- the coldest spot in the building...


Thank God that it was time to close the shop and no one else had to use the 'Loo,' because I had cold sweats too- and it was about 45 minutes of being unsure what was happening in my body!


(Sorry to gross you out)


So Good Side about Nausea?
It passes, you learn to carry meds in your purse, there are drugs to help, and you have permission to lie down and veg close to comfort, blankies, and kitty...


Hey! STEROIDS!
Bad Side = WHEN you can taste, you go crazy for food! I am famous in my family for "searching for the 'Perfect Bite,'" and currently my reasoning is shot! I spent one night binging on toffee, another evening was centered around Peanut Butter Crackers!


(I need to buy cold cooked prawns- my favorite thing and binge on those, instead!! Next stop-- the MARRRKETTTT!!)

Good Side = you can finally stay up all night because your adrenalin is high, it's before the treatment and you feel fantastic!
Also, you can finally understand how Lance Armstrong was able to win the TOUR DE FRANCE seven times in A SINGLE BOUND!!


Constipation...
Let's NOT 'GO' there.


Haha!! (See, I've still got that sense of humor!! Hot-Cha-Cha!!)


Oooh! Here's another thing--


CHEMO BRAIN!!
Bad Side = Your mind is like a sieve! Short term memory is SHOT! Sometimes you can't remember your daughter's name, ingredients for soup, even something which happened 30-seconds BEFORE!!

Good Side = the older we get-- we'll ALL BE LIKE THIS!!
My parents said they have it all the time, 'we just call it OLD AGE!'


I am so SO THANKFUL FOR LAUGHTER!!


TASTING...
Bad Side = it's one of my favorite things, eating. After the treatments, I gradually lose my sense of taste, until favorite things like chicken, potatoes, and really anything that's not sweet or spicy are like eating the color WHITE!

(Like wallpaper paste!)


Good Side = well theoretically, I would be hoping for loss of weight, as a consolation prize -- it has NOT HAPPENED!

(Please see 'Steroids,' 'Toffee,' and 'Peanut Butter Crackers,' above!)



I may think of other fun things, but really; how can anyone get the 'Full Cancer Experience,' as I call it, without Chemo?!!


Carole, this is not a Cruise Ship!!


Oh wait-- they HAVE HAD things like this on Cruise Ships lately!!!


Please see 'Princess Cruises!'



Thanks for stopping by!
Take Care.

How Was Your Monday?

Hi Friend,
Well, this has been an amazing 48 hours!!
I've hosted my First Beauty Rampage!!
(AND- it might not be THE LAST, either!!)

What is a Beauty Rampage?!!


Well, in my case, it was a vehicle for actually shaving my head; a preemptive strike, against the more passive 'waiting for it to fall out...'


As hard as the cancer diagnosis- all along I had grieved over the 'possible' loss of hair-- I prayed not to lose it: long, shiny, healthy, my beautiful golden crown!!!


Only that and my 'perfect' nose on my face were the two things I'm proud of-- and have one of those 'taken away' because of cancer;

"I'LL DIE! MAYBE THERE's some way to save it!!"


My Aunt, a Barber/ Beautician Instructor in Seattle heard of someone up there, who; when feeling her chemo drugs made her head 'hot'-- put a bag of frozen peas on her head, and, "she only lost TWO HAIRS her ENTIRE TREATMENT!!!"


Was it worth a shot?


Should I wear a bag of frozen peas, too?!



In the end, when it did come time for chemo, I chose the non-pea 'road'-- and went as myself-- NOT, as a representative of the Jolly Green Giant!!!


As frightening the idea of losing my hair, that, in my mind was WORSE THAN LOSING MY BREAST!


Lots of women might disagree.


What you can say with certainty about cancer: everyone is different! Think about this, all of us, because of DNA, are inherently unique. God made all of Creation this way. As we live, our upbringing, experiences, locations, friends, foods, medications, choices, leave 'traces' of themselves on our bodies and souls.


One woman may grieve losing a breast, another, her hair; still another woman: her bag of peas!! Hahaha!!


Transparency in Cancer seems to be a good rule of thumb-- I am so SO not sorry to share my journey on Facebook.


I might have chosen to keep my journey private, with just family and pastor on the inside track-- after all, lots of people do. I might have decided just to include my girlfriends.., lots of people just do that, too.


What prompted my decision? I didn't want rumors about me floating around "Jane, have you seen Carole? She's not been at church for awhile?"...by sharing my story, Facebook friends get a chance to be my cheerleaders, keep up on the latest info, and I don't repeat the same test results, or my day, 'another 50 times!!'


God gets lots of credit! My friends and family know I'm a Christian. I'm able to constantly look for the 'Light' in situations... 'Serendipitous' encounters,
Renewed Friendships, 'missed markers;'
which, when needing to be retrieved-- showed itself as a cancerous lymph NODE!!

(Do you think God was in THAT?!)


I do!!


And having God as the Point Man in my Cancer Journey, has made it bearable, has filled my heart back up with joy and laughter, and helped in my healing.

Every day I choose to walk with him thru this minefield, which could be DOOM AND GLOOM AND DEATH;


Instead, I'm making my friends laugh over my preemptive strike haircuts at the Beauty Rampage!!! Or showing Cancer Survivors a new way to tie a head scarf,
Getting healthier eating my veggies!

And realizing that now, without hair- I see myself as stronger, confident, a warrior for my health, more in love with my True Self:
I'm a WARRIOR PRINCESS!!

WARRIOR. Because I'm fighting for better health for myself, and will do all I can on this side of Heaven to fight for Jesus!

PRINCESS. Because I'm a daughter of the MOST HIGH GOD; KING, RULER AND CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE!!


On this Cancer Journey, I see displays of his love for me, flowers, friends, test results, a hug- just when I need it, food delivered when I could not cook, prayer shawls gifted me by unknown 'angels,' financial support when I have been unable to work- learning to trust God each DAY--

One Day, Each Single Day at a Time...


That's all we are asked to do-


"Trust in The Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."
Proverbs 3: 5, 6 (NIV)




With God ALL things are POSSIBLE!!!



Take Care.

Scenes from a week...

Long Day's Journey

Hi Friend.
I haven't been here for awhile... Wouldn't be if insomnia hasn't set in.

So far, I've had a mastectomy on my right side, followed by a lumpectomy, also right side, to remove a wayward marker.

The Blessing was that the tissue
surrounding the marker was a cancerous
Lymph Node (the previous surgery had two, blue negative nodes removed)... This node, full of cancer, expanded its boundaries; not allowing the blue dye to enter-- without returning to retrieve that marker, cancer would continue growing.

God is watching over and protecting me!

I get the 'full meal deal' now that I have had a cancerous lymph node= chemo AND radiation!

I might as well get the whole package, right?

What I'm after is the mints on the pillow dessert= new readjusted lifted BOOBS!!
There WILL BE LIGHT AT THE END OF THIS TRAIN TUNNEL!!

I didn't think chemo was too bad the first couple days-- steroids give you happiness, energy, and you can leap tall piles of laundry in a single bound!!!
I didn't feel any different walking out of the oncology office, than when I went in.
So proud and happy with my attitude. I was Brave! I was Courageous!!

Next day, Friday, I returned to get 'THE' shot to jump start my bone marrow, and even then, into Saturday was not too bad: then, a severe wave of nausea hit, and I was lying on the bathroom floor at my favorite resale shop, in a confounding cold sweat!

NOTE TO FUTURE SELF:
The coolest spot for a cold sweat IS linoleum or tile floor!


After 30-45 minutes, I was back together- able to drive home; Caitlin following in her car. Scared to eat, scared not to, am I sick? Constipated? Achy? YES!


From then on, it was like having the worst flu-- achy into my bones, and only now- 5 days later, does it seem to be easing up a bit.

I want to do SO MUCH! quilting, laughing, cooking, gardening, working! Painting my nails! Scrapping! But I'm weak, achy listless. Seeing a brief glimpse at 'no pain' tonight, I watched a movie and forgot for awhile! Nice!


There is still so much to do and see and accomplish: more chemo, radiation, tests, discomfort, fun runs/ walks, quilts, friendships, scarf-tying techniques!, new recipes... I know The Lord God is with me, and has been since the beginning.

My daughter, Caitlin, gave me a 'religious' book, called 'BEAUTIFUL BATTLEFIELDS,' by Bo Stern. (this is the disclaimer where I say, I hate books like this-- I wanted the coffee-shop Latte-Love story, and she gave me THIS INSTEAD?!!)


I was wrong.


I started reading last night, and was comforted knowing that God knows the beginning, middle and end of my journey-- he intimately knows each moment, each teardrop, each increment of pain. He's not going anywhere, and yet amazingly, He's here for everyone else in the world and their needs, too.

Because God has no limits on his time, and is the Beginning and the End, he understands the intricacies of my cancer journey, my joys, discomforts, and is the Captain of the Team!

So glad to know when I win the race, WHO'll be in the Winner's Circle with me!


Take care.

TOXIC Waste Removal

Here's the latest from the TRENCHES OF WAR...


I had my mastectomy (right side) on January 4; began reconstruction immediately. The plastic surgeon installed a 'spacer,' and I've just been healing up since-pain meds, mood swings, all the fun!

Pathology showed Stage 1 Invasive Ductal Carcinoma (.9 cm), several mm or less-sized Non-Invasive Ductal Carcinomas, and also Paget's Disease, a type of cancer directly on the nipple. They got all of that.

There was also a second tumor- which they are not sure they got all of. (when I had biopsies of my breast, titanium markers were inserted in each spot).  The marker for the 'retro-nipple' area was in the tissue removed, however, the Pathologist did not find a marker in the tissues from the second tumor...what does this mean? 

 

I had a CT scan a week ago, to attempt to locate the missing marker, and tomorrow meet with my surgeon about that.

Following that appt., I meet with my Oncologist, who will let me know if I will need chemo or not.

Last Monday, I went to the plastic surgeon for my first 'fill' of the spacer. He injected 600 cc's of silicone into my 'boobie,' and I could actually SEE IT GET BIGGER BEFORE MY VERY EYES!! Haha!

(Mom was there, she got to watch, too.)

My skin will be slowly stretching and growing to accommodate the implant--

I will go in another two weeks for another fill, and then we'll just rest on that for awhile. 

At some point, 6-months to a year away, I'll have the plastic surgeon fix my left breast, lifting that up and making it smaller to match my new fake one!

When I'm all finished-- I'll be getting a new nipple from my own skin, and the colored-part gets TATTOOED ON!!  Is that the COOLEST EVER??? 


 I'll be a perky new version of me!  THAT'S WHAT'S KEEPIN' ME GOING!! LOL

 

Until then, I'm still a construction zone.
(PROJECT MANAGER, sub-contractors, engineers, laser operators, grade-checkers, architect, rollers, compactors, loaders and hoes removing toxic poison, all looking for insidious 'soft spots.')

 

All told, I'm PROUD of where I've been.  I have had a couple meltdowns this week,

over the actual enormity of what has happened to my life, and my body...

 

 

at the beginning, all you know is:

you gotta save your life...so you jump right into the pool.

 

 

Later on, is when you begin to look around, and you're healing... but you hurt,

and the drain gets

REAL old, like being a DOG ON A LEASH!

 

The pain meds make you constipated, and thus bloated, and what do you want to see looking down past your boobs? 

 

NOT YOUR BELLY!  THAT'S FOR SURE!

 

(you know, it sure feels good to say all this.  I've been making an altered book, slowly but surely, but the junk I put in it, I don't always feel/think about it at certain times.)

 

 

Anyway,  thanks to my incredible kids, Caitlin and Evan, I have a new laptop to blog and work from, and so, can update my blog while at home.

 

I thought at the beginning of my cancer journey, I was gonna write every day.  I haven't had the energy to even sit up to a computer, much less make sense of one...and it's not the old operating system  !  NOPE...nothing by new for 'mom;'

 

so I'm on a learning curve with all that!
 

BILL GATES, we need pain-killers for your new Windows 10006!

How about a bottle, free with every purchase?!!

 

 

 

I'll know more tomorrow, and come back to post an update.

 

 

Caitlin, my gorgeous daughter, call this 'TOXIC.'  I made an anagram for that:

                                                                 T=TAKE

                                                                 O=OUT

                                                                 X=XCREMENTAL

                                                                 I= INSIDIOUS

                                                                 C=CANCER

 

 

Thank you for all your love and prayers.

(I'm doing my best to kick Cancer's Ass)

 

 

FROM THIS WARRIOR PRINCESS

Roll On Down The Highway

Well, today's the day. I enter Salem Hospital in about 7 hours to get prepped for surgery.

Breast Cancer!


How CAN that BE?!


I feel pretty good. Tired sometimes, but a person could blame that on the holidays, shopping, quilting, working, etc.

Once a person knows they have cancer, every time you get a twinge: 'I must have leg cancer!' 'I must have a Brain Tumor!'
'Oh No! It must be in my elbow!'


My doctor said that's common when you're awaiting surgery.


When I get to the hospital, I'll be injected with some radioactive dye which shows if the cancer has traveled through my body.
Then, later on, I'll have blue dye put into my sentinel node to see what sort of action is happening there.

I may even appear a little grey/blue/ghoulish because of that.

If so- not to worry! I will have my daughter take photos!


The mastectomy takes about 2 hours, the insertion of 'spacers' for the reconstruction takes about 2 hours, and recovery takes about 2 hours. I am not expecting my 'suite' until about 6pm!


That's a long day!


I may be blessed to find out that I won't need chemo or radiation...that would be fantastic. I won't have an inkling until I wake up, and even then, it's only preliminary.


More definitive results will come in about a week, after the lymph node/s are tested.
At any rate the groundwork for starting this journey will slowly be laid.

I am officially a CONSTRUCTION ZONE!


(How hard not to drink water after midnight!)


As soon as you can't have SOMETHING in this life- that's ALL you can think about!
God made us wonderfully, but we're all a little 'whack,' too!


Okay, right now, winding down. Even though this is ginormous, I will be confident in God's mighty power, and pray for him to become apparent to others, and be glorified, as a result.


I have felt the love and prayers and blessings heaped upon me by friends, family, acquaintances. Total strangers are praying for me!! Even when I'm not able to pray, so many others are uniting for me!!! Isn't that SO COOL?

God, please bless the efforts and words of each person, that in my journey, others would be drawn to you. Yes, I ask you to heal me- I would prefer no suffering. But I am willing to be the One in Eight with breast cancer, if somehow it meant no one around me would get it.


Call me:


WARRIOR PRINCESS.

Upson, Downs

Hi Friend,
Well, my surgery is scheduled for 11:30 am, January 4. 
I have been having a range of emotions: feeling normal, really tired--slept all Christmas Day!; teary, angry, disbelieving that there's cancer in my body, wondering how/what 'caused' it...

it goes on.

My plastic surgeon, Dann Leonard, said that before surgery it's common to imagine every twinge is cancer spreading thru my body.  And it's happened--every headache, mole, twinge, bloat, MUST mean it's spread...

try not to think that, Carole!

Anyway, we're past Christmas, and it was warm and wonderful.  i've gotten encouragement from wonderful strangers: a prayer shawl from a work-friend of Caitlin's (Rita, a two-time survivor), two ladies, Betty Ann, and Ramona (from my sister, Melinda's church); people unknown to me all over the state prayerfully lifting me up.

I'm so SO thankful.  It makes me cry thinking about their love for me, and faith that God will provide.

God, thank you for their loving hearts.

Surprise, Surprise...

Hi Friend,

I haven't been here for a long, long time...about 4 months.  I wasn't sure if my voice was necessary in a world full of noise.  I have been really busy, and that's nothing too new, and I can update later, but today, for you:

Not so good news...

I have Breast Cancer.


That is like standing up at AA, and telling everyone you're an alcoholic.  It's shocking to say, and shocking to realize it's true, and actually happening to YOU.

I will copy and paste here, a copy of an email I sent out this morning to friends and family.  That way, I won't have to write everything all over again. 

Typing was only a 'C'-grade class for me in High School--what with being able to 'cut out' for lunch at Bob's!

Anyway, here is is, and if you want to get in touch with me:
my email is kurthgirl23@yahoo.com

_____________________________

___________________

Hi Friends,

This is a good news/bad news kinda email. I'll start with the bad news.

 

 

I have been diagnosed with Stage 1 (possibly 2) breast cancer, in my right breast.

 

It is in two locations; about 4" apart.

 

 

Last year, I scheduled my annual mammogram for October. Prior to that, one day, I was 'prompted' to do a self-exam. That's when I discovered the first lump --it was about the size of a blackberry seed, and right behind the nipple. I had testing at that time: mammogram, and two ultrasounds, all of which showed NO abnormal tissue.

 

 

I went ahead and lived life. I was busy, and pre-occupied and didn't really pay attention to my boobs!

 

 

With the approach of October again this year, my annual check-up was on my mind. I rechecked the same spot (although I am lousy at these exams!), and was shocked to find the 'seed' had now grown to the size of the end of my little finger.

 

 

Now, we 'fast-track'--

I got right in for my check up, and the mammogram happened, followed by an ultrasound the same day (Nov. 30). On December 4, I had biopsies taken of three places. My drs. office called last Friday , telling me that I have cancer, and asking me if I had a follow-up appt. scheduled with a surgeon; which I did.

(December 7--what irony--'A Day that Will Live in Infamy'!--

we are going to WAR AGAINST CANCER!!)

So, yesterday, December10, I met with my surgeon, Dr Beth Dayton yesterday, and was given the 'the big picture.' (cancer in two locations- the first spot had grown outside the 'ductal' walls, and has now involved other areas, including the nipple, and so the whole thing needs to be removed.

 

 

Let's have some good news--

I AM GOING TO LIVE!!

 

 

however, it will take awhile to get there...

 

 

I will have a mastectomy, right side (there is no cancer in my left breast-nor immediate family history); followed by reconstruction. I will have them start that process right away. I do not know yet if there will be chemo or radiation. but that is a possibility, depending on what is found during surgery and pathology reports.

 

 

I will have an entire team of surgeons, oncologists, plastic surgeon and probably a couple others who will work together for my success and health. Eventually, I will have my left side 'lifted', so i'll 'match'--YIPPEE!! GREAT NEWS!

 

 

okay, these are the main things for right now.

Here is what you need to know from me:

 

 

I LOVE YOU, AND AM SO THANKFUL FOR MY family and GOBS of friends. I believe in God, and although this is not a path I would EVER choose; because the likeliehood of Breast Cancer would strike me (or someone I know)--I am not surprised that it has happened. I am putting my trust in God for my life, recovery, health, financial, the medical team--EVERYTHING in His hands. I know that people all over have already started praying for me, and I am humbled and awed by that. THANK YOU!

 

 

I believe that God will use my experience to touch others--that's how 'this thing' works! So-thank you for loving and caring about me! As I rely on your positive thoughts and prayers for health and strength now; someday I will be helping others around me in the same way!

 

 

Not everyone is open about their Breast Cancer, but I am choosing to be. I can't control this, but I will do my best to control my reaction, be positive and laugh, and be 'ME" as much as I can. You have my permission to share my story with others who love and care about me--EVERYONE, THINK GOOD THOUGHTS!!

AND-

 

If you know good blonde jokes, or funny things about boobs, (Kim Kardashian, and Kanye West are two boobs, I can think of right now!)--send those along! I'm making a little 'altered' book about BOOBS!

HAHA!

 

 

TWO MORE THINGS--

 

 

1- please take care of YOUR boobs! As in my situation, even as I 'tried' to do all the right things, I still had cancer that did not show up! I am validated knowing my 'gut' instincts were/are correct. Check yourself, get checked, get tested, don't wait around or be afraid. Make sure those around you do, too!

 

 

2- I got a little Christmas story here from a friend, and am passing it along to lighten the mood, and know that it's sweet, and cracked me up. Laughter is a great medicine.

 

 

Love, Carole Kurth

THE CHRISTMAS PAGEANT
My husband and I had been happily married (most of the time)
for five years but hadn't been blessed with a baby.

I decided to do some serious praying and promised God
that if he would give us a child, I would be a perfect mother,
love it with all my heart and raise it with His word
as my guide.

God answered my prayers and blessed us with a son.

The next year God blessed us with another son.

The following year, He blessed us with yet another son.

The year after that we were blessed with a daughter.

My husband thought we'd been blessed right into poverty.
We now had four children, and the oldest was only
four years old.

I learned never to ask God for anything unless I meant it!

As a minister once told me, "If you pray for rain, make sure you carry an umbrella."

I began reading a few verses of the Bible to the children
each day as they lay in their cribs..

I was off to a good start. God had entrusted me with four children and
I didn't want to disappoint Him.

I tried to be patient the day the children smashed
two dozen eggs on the kitchen floor searching for baby chicks.

I tried to be understanding...
when they started a hotel for homeless frogs in the spare bedroom,
although it took me nearly two hours to catch all twenty-three frogs.

When my daughter poured ketchup all over herself and rolled up in a blanket to see
how it felt to be a hot dog, I tried to see the humor rather than the mess..

In spite of changing over twenty-five thousand diapers,
never eating a hot meal and never sleeping for more than thirty minutes at a time,
I still thank God daily for my children.

While I couldn't keep my promise to be a perfect mother - I didn't even come close...
I did keep my promise to raise them in the Word of God.

I knew I was missing the mark just a little when I told my daughter we were going
to church to worship God, and she wanted to bring a bar of soap along to
"wash up" Jesus, too.

Something was lost in the translation when I explained that God gave us everlasting life,
and my son thought it was generous of God to give us his "last wife."

My proudest moment came during the children's Christmas pageant.

My daughter was playing Mary, two of my sons were shepherds and my youngest son was a wise man.
This was their moment to shine.

My five-year-old shepherd had practiced his line,
"We found the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes."
But he was nervous and said, "The baby was wrapped in wrinkled clothes."

My four-year-old "Mary" said, "That's not 'wrinkled clothes,' silly.
That's dirty, rotten clothes."

A wrestling match broke out between Mary and the shepherd
and was stopped by an angel, who bent her halo and lost her left wing.

I slouched a little lower in my seat when Mary dropped the doll representing
Baby Jesus, and it bounced down the aisle crying,
"Mama-mama."

Mary grabbed the doll, wrapped it back up and held it tightly as the wise men arrived.

My other son stepped forward wearing a bathrobe and a paper crown,
knelt at the manger and announced,
"We are the three wise men,
and we are bringing gifts
of gold,
common sense
and fur."

The congregation dissolved into laughter,
and the pageant got a standing ovation.

"I've never enjoyed a Christmas program as much as this one,"
laughed the pastor, wiping tears from his eyes

(For the rest of my life, I'll never hear the
Christmas story without thinking of gold, common sense and fur!)

 

 

 

 

Learning

Hi Friend,

Did you know every day is a day of discovery?


(well, at least it should be!)


I spend a lot of time in my office at work looking out the window at large
mounds of Sand and Gravel and Topsoil, the trees and their leaves...the coming and going of my work kitties, deer, geese taking off in groups;

punctuated by clouds, sunshine, rain, thunderstorms, snow, sleet and hail.


All this, in between customers!


There's time for reflection--thus Discovery.

in Reading--finally tackling 'The #1 Ladies Detective Agency' and
           Loving It!

occasional Quilting-- sewing binding or cutting fabric for an upcoming
        project


Art Journaling--online tutorials and favorite artists in books encourage and delight...as I attempt something new, I'm PROUD OF MYSELF!!



I saw a tutorial from artist Violette, and was then empowered to attempt to draw a face for art journaling... Here she is!

(I had 'bleed thru' from the previous page, so I turned one spot into her heart-shaped beauty mark--the other was the orange splotch on the left--but

'Hey! Whadda You Gonna Do?!'


so I made more cool stuff!

This was silvery tissue from a friend's baby shower gift...YUM!  And the image was ON THE BACK of something else I thought i'd wanted to use.

Serendipity!


I really like it.  and I don't think it has to 'say' anything.  At least not yet!

Then, I found a large pair of Ray Bans, and wanting to put them on my 'girl face,' but not wanting to cover her pretty face, I drew another girl, and made her my alternate-self...

 

Hello, Gypsy Art Girl!

 

 

(I wonder what I'd look like w/ Periwinkle Hair?)

Art-Is-Stick! That's ME!

Hey Friend!

It's only been less than a month that I was here!

I have managed my two jobs and much more.


The title is really: ARTISTIC!!  that's me...but I thought the other title:

ART-IS-STICK  really quite clever for a Friday afternoon...


anyway, in the last couple weeks, I've worked on FOUR quilts!  I'm in the middle of number 5.

('Soldier Quilt' for friend, Lonny, a Marine back from Afghanistan)

It's so cool!  I don't think I've avoided my Studio/Aerie/Garret/need-a-name as much.  I still don't like the color of the walls, but you gotta have money to buy paint, and know what color, and I don't...so there it is

What I'm most proud of, is the 'Soldier Quilt,' which I had an idea to make about 8 months ago.  A caring and patriotic young man joined the Marines, and was sent to Afghanistan.  8 months, and many prayers later, he's back safe and sound (praise God!), and home for a couple weeks vacation.

Friends Joanne and Suzie (above in photo) made blocks, and two weeks ago, I cut the blocks into quarters, traded them all around, sewed them back together and then, with sashing I made, put the quilt top together.  Joanne quilted and bound the quilt, and yesterday, we were able to present the quilt to Lonny.

I was a real moment.  Just for a moment, he was a child embracing his 'blankie'.  I believe this quilt will help heal the ravages of war. 

I'm so thankful to have blessed a soldier.

(detail shot of blocks and quilting)

Now...
Here's another quilt, a sample for Greenbaum's...baby-size--

this is a new line of fabric by MoMo for Moda, 'Oh Deer'--

I quilted scallops onto it, and this is all scrunched up after washing.  Very cute, and now hanging at the shop. (Greenbaum's Quilted Forest-Salem, OR)


I did make two more samples for the shop--but did I take photos?  nope!  so, I guess that'll be another post.

(ha!  and I'm always thinking I have nothing to say!)



Today, I read Julie Fei-Fan Balzer's (Art Journal Every Day) blog, guest bloggers Lori Wostl & Lorri Flint (who started the Art Camp for Women retreats in Colorado), referred to Sarah Whitmire's Soul Journaling site as an awesome free online site for beginning art journalers.  I went over there, and checked it out, and they were RIGHT!

I was inspired to finally, truly BEGIN!

Fortunately, I had in my truck, miscellaneous jounaling items, including a book I'd made about 2 years ago in a class, and had never made a mark in.
I'd recently put the book in my truck to MAKE SURE to use it...


(but I didn't want to 'wreck' it!) 



"CARPE DIEM!"  I say!



So, following Sarah's prompts for Day 1, I tore paper, and covered six or more pages with random paper, glue-sticking along, then let it dry. 


Next, using Sarah's prompts, I wrote on the pages, covering them with my thoughts.  Here are my photos:

 

 

Look!  The 'Process' has begun!

 

I'm WAY excited and thinking that if I complete Sarah's 22 days of

Soul Journal prompts, that art journaling won't be so

'scary' or intimidating to me, and I will finally be on my way.

 

for years now, I've been admiring Art Journals, and been intrigued by them.

 

White pages Would Intimidate me

 

What to Say?

 

Who would Care?

 

How to Keep Up?

 

 

Guess What?  I'll try this and see what happens!

 

 

 

www.souljournaling.com

 

http://balzerdesigns.typepad.com

 

www.quiltedforest.com

 

 

 

 

 

Summer Crazy, Summer Not!

Hi Friend,

I'm really embarrassed that I haven't been keeping up with my blog.  I've been working, and trying to fit in quilting, and friends, and the Sisters Quilt Show, and church, and devotionals, and a couple weekends with my daughter, and Oh Yeah, a quilt class or two, and a paper crafting class or two!


There might have been some sleep in there!

and a doggie parade (last night at Greenbaum's!)



and...

I finally figured out 'Words With Friends'--so I have 3 select friends I currently play with.




If you are a person who is not too competitive, and doesn't have to SMASH someone else in order to win,

we can talk!




anyway, yesterday was August 1--holy COW!  how did that happen?!



I'm not ready for Christmas!  



(I only say that because you and I both know that once it gets to this point--
it's 'just around the corner'!)



                                                              blech!  the commercialism!


it's like biting on a piece of tinfoil!





                           BUT!  That's not what I wanted to write about--


I did something this week that I've always wanted to do...I signed up a couple weeks ago for a Postcard Exchange!




I read a beautiful blog called, 'Kandeland'--written by Natalea Kandefer.
                                  http://kandeland.typepad.com



I don't know where I saw it, or how I got there, but it is fun, and she is a great artist, and I've been reading her for about a month.



Natalea asked for people who were interested in a postcard exchange, to comment, and sign up, and I decided to try it. 


I had an idea to  make my own, and as I did I took photos, so you can see how all the parts came together. 


I was making something out of almost nothing! 

So my little postcards...They're going all over the United States!



New Mexico,

                      Virginia,

                                       New York,

                                                                      North Carolina...


Each person is sending one to the other seven people.  They are to be 'arty' in some way, and have an affirming or inspirational quote.


So here's the sequence...

Old file folders, cut to standard (4" x 6") postcard size...

A really cool vintage image (artist unknown),

sent out by Women Who Create

the colors reminded me of Maxfield Parrish's art--YUM!

I wasn't sure how copied images would work being 'Mod-Podged' onto the

file folder base, but after a 'test' image, it worked fine.

(no smearing of color!)

Two coats of Mod-Podge--ON!

Let's make the back of the card!  Cardstock in a luscious

Periwinkle (matches my House!), cut to the 4" x 6"

size.  I finally got to use my

official 'POSTCARD' rubber stamp!

An awesome quote on Happiness from the

www.worldofinspiration.com

site (arranged by moods and attributes!)

UH-OH!!!

the discovery Tuesday morning, that although I thought I had ALL THE FRONTS, and ALL THE BACKS

together,

I had lost some backs, and had to 'punt'

to make the August 1 mailing date!

eeek!  had to use some renegade complimentary paper on two of them, and remake 3 other backs out of the periwinkle scraps.

I did debate for a time about actually using my sewing machine to

stitch the papers together, and 'grunge them up',

but after the Mod-Podge of the layers, and fronts to backs,

they were really sturdy, and I didn't think it would add to the

effect I wanted. 

AND NOW---

PRESSING

ONWARD!

I used some Tim Holtz 'Crushed Grape' Distress Ink

on the edges to add depth.

Here she is- almost done!

for my last step, I used a gold pen, and inked around the edges,

to top it off!

Can't wait to see what ARTSY THINGS are headed toward me!

Before I Close...

a Quilt from the Sisters Quilt Show...

this took my breath away.

DAZZLING!!!