I haven't been here for awhile... Wouldn't be if insomnia hasn't set in.
So far, I've had a mastectomy on my right side, followed by a lumpectomy, also right side, to remove a wayward marker.
The Blessing was that the tissue
surrounding the marker was a cancerous
Lymph Node (the previous surgery had two, blue negative nodes removed)... This node, full of cancer, expanded its boundaries; not allowing the blue dye to enter-- without returning to retrieve that marker, cancer would continue growing.
God is watching over and protecting me!
I get the 'full meal deal' now that I have had a cancerous lymph node= chemo AND radiation!
I might as well get the whole package, right?
What I'm after is the mints on the pillow dessert= new readjusted lifted BOOBS!!
There WILL BE LIGHT AT THE END OF THIS TRAIN TUNNEL!!
I didn't think chemo was too bad the first couple days-- steroids give you happiness, energy, and you can leap tall piles of laundry in a single bound!!!
I didn't feel any different walking out of the oncology office, than when I went in.
So proud and happy with my attitude. I was Brave! I was Courageous!!
Next day, Friday, I returned to get 'THE' shot to jump start my bone marrow, and even then, into Saturday was not too bad: then, a severe wave of nausea hit, and I was lying on the bathroom floor at my favorite resale shop, in a confounding cold sweat!
NOTE TO FUTURE SELF:
The coolest spot for a cold sweat IS linoleum or tile floor!
After 30-45 minutes, I was back together- able to drive home; Caitlin following in her car. Scared to eat, scared not to, am I sick? Constipated? Achy? YES!
From then on, it was like having the worst flu-- achy into my bones, and only now- 5 days later, does it seem to be easing up a bit.
I want to do SO MUCH! quilting, laughing, cooking, gardening, working! Painting my nails! Scrapping! But I'm weak, achy listless. Seeing a brief glimpse at 'no pain' tonight, I watched a movie and forgot for awhile! Nice!
There is still so much to do and see and accomplish: more chemo, radiation, tests, discomfort, fun runs/ walks, quilts, friendships, scarf-tying techniques!, new recipes... I know The Lord God is with me, and has been since the beginning.
My daughter, Caitlin, gave me a 'religious' book, called 'BEAUTIFUL BATTLEFIELDS,' by Bo Stern. (this is the disclaimer where I say, I hate books like this-- I wanted the coffee-shop Latte-Love story, and she gave me THIS INSTEAD?!!)
I was wrong.
I started reading last night, and was comforted knowing that God knows the beginning, middle and end of my journey-- he intimately knows each moment, each teardrop, each increment of pain. He's not going anywhere, and yet amazingly, He's here for everyone else in the world and their needs, too.
Because God has no limits on his time, and is the Beginning and the End, he understands the intricacies of my cancer journey, my joys, discomforts, and is the Captain of the Team!
So glad to know when I win the race, WHO'll be in the Winner's Circle with me!