Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Upson, Downs

Hi Friend,
Well, my surgery is scheduled for 11:30 am, January 4. 
I have been having a range of emotions: feeling normal, really tired--slept all Christmas Day!; teary, angry, disbelieving that there's cancer in my body, wondering how/what 'caused' it...

it goes on.

My plastic surgeon, Dann Leonard, said that before surgery it's common to imagine every twinge is cancer spreading thru my body.  And it's happened--every headache, mole, twinge, bloat, MUST mean it's spread...

try not to think that, Carole!

Anyway, we're past Christmas, and it was warm and wonderful.  i've gotten encouragement from wonderful strangers: a prayer shawl from a work-friend of Caitlin's (Rita, a two-time survivor), two ladies, Betty Ann, and Ramona (from my sister, Melinda's church); people unknown to me all over the state prayerfully lifting me up.

I'm so SO thankful.  It makes me cry thinking about their love for me, and faith that God will provide.

God, thank you for their loving hearts.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Surprise, Surprise...

Hi Friend,

I haven't been here for a long, long time...about 4 months.  I wasn't sure if my voice was necessary in a world full of noise.  I have been really busy, and that's nothing too new, and I can update later, but today, for you:

Not so good news...

I have Breast Cancer.


That is like standing up at AA, and telling everyone you're an alcoholic.  It's shocking to say, and shocking to realize it's true, and actually happening to YOU.

I will copy and paste here, a copy of an email I sent out this morning to friends and family.  That way, I won't have to write everything all over again. 

Typing was only a 'C'-grade class for me in High School--what with being able to 'cut out' for lunch at Bob's!

Anyway, here is is, and if you want to get in touch with me:
my email is kurthgirl23@yahoo.com

_____________________________

___________________


Hi Friends,
This is a good news/bad news kinda email. I'll start with the bad news.
 
 
I have been diagnosed with Stage 1 (possibly 2) breast cancer, in my right breast.
 
It is in two locations; about 4" apart.
 
 
Last year, I scheduled my annual mammogram for October. Prior to that, one day, I was 'prompted' to do a self-exam. That's when I discovered the first lump --it was about the size of a blackberry seed, and right behind the nipple. I had testing at that time: mammogram, and two ultrasounds, all of which showed NO abnormal tissue.
 
 
I went ahead and lived life. I was busy, and pre-occupied and didn't really pay attention to my boobs!
 
 
With the approach of October again this year, my annual check-up was on my mind. I rechecked the same spot (although I am lousy at these exams!), and was shocked to find the 'seed' had now grown to the size of the end of my little finger.
 
 
Now, we 'fast-track'--
I got right in for my check up, and the mammogram happened, followed by an ultrasound the same day (Nov. 30). On December 4, I had biopsies taken of three places. My drs. office called last Friday , telling me that I have cancer, and asking me if I had a follow-up appt. scheduled with a surgeon; which I did.
(December 7--what irony--'A Day that Will Live in Infamy'!--
we are going to WAR AGAINST CANCER!!)
So, yesterday, December10, I met with my surgeon, Dr Beth Dayton yesterday, and was given the 'the big picture.' (cancer in two locations- the first spot had grown outside the 'ductal' walls, and has now involved other areas, including the nipple, and so the whole thing needs to be removed.
 
 
Let's have some good news--
I AM GOING TO LIVE!!
 
 
however, it will take awhile to get there...
 
 
I will have a mastectomy, right side (there is no cancer in my left breast-nor immediate family history); followed by reconstruction. I will have them start that process right away. I do not know yet if there will be chemo or radiation. but that is a possibility, depending on what is found during surgery and pathology reports.
 
 
I will have an entire team of surgeons, oncologists, plastic surgeon and probably a couple others who will work together for my success and health. Eventually, I will have my left side 'lifted', so i'll 'match'--YIPPEE!! GREAT NEWS!
 
 
okay, these are the main things for right now.
Here is what you need to know from me:
 
 
I LOVE YOU, AND AM SO THANKFUL FOR MY family and GOBS of friends. I believe in God, and although this is not a path I would EVER choose; because the likeliehood of Breast Cancer would strike me (or someone I know)--I am not surprised that it has happened. I am putting my trust in God for my life, recovery, health, financial, the medical team--EVERYTHING in His hands. I know that people all over have already started praying for me, and I am humbled and awed by that. THANK YOU!
 
 
I believe that God will use my experience to touch others--that's how 'this thing' works! So-thank you for loving and caring about me! As I rely on your positive thoughts and prayers for health and strength now; someday I will be helping others around me in the same way!
 
 
Not everyone is open about their Breast Cancer, but I am choosing to be. I can't control this, but I will do my best to control my reaction, be positive and laugh, and be 'ME" as much as I can. You have my permission to share my story with others who love and care about me--EVERYONE, THINK GOOD THOUGHTS!!
AND-
 
If you know good blonde jokes, or funny things about boobs, (Kim Kardashian, and Kanye West are two boobs, I can think of right now!)--send those along! I'm making a little 'altered' book about BOOBS!
HAHA!
 
 
TWO MORE THINGS--
 
 
1- please take care of YOUR boobs! As in my situation, even as I 'tried' to do all the right things, I still had cancer that did not show up! I am validated knowing my 'gut' instincts were/are correct. Check yourself, get checked, get tested, don't wait around or be afraid. Make sure those around you do, too!
 
 
2- I got a little Christmas story here from a friend, and am passing it along to lighten the mood, and know that it's sweet, and cracked me up. Laughter is a great medicine.
 
 
Love, Carole Kurth

THE CHRISTMAS PAGEANT
My husband and I had been happily married (most of the time)
for five years but hadn't been blessed with a baby.

I decided to do some serious praying and promised God
that if he would give us a child, I would be a perfect mother,
love it with all my heart and raise it with His word
as my guide.

God answered my prayers and blessed us with a son.

The next year God blessed us with another son.

The following year, He blessed us with yet another son.

The year after that we were blessed with a daughter.

My husband thought we'd been blessed right into poverty.
We now had four children, and the oldest was only
four years old.

I learned never to ask God for anything unless I meant it!
As a minister once told me, "If you pray for rain, make sure you carry an umbrella."

I began reading a few verses of the Bible to the children
each day as they lay in their cribs..

I was off to a good start. God had entrusted me with four children and
I didn't want to disappoint Him.

I tried to be patient the day the children smashed
two dozen eggs on the kitchen floor searching for baby chicks.

I tried to be understanding...
when they started a hotel for homeless frogs in the spare bedroom,
although it took me nearly two hours to catch all twenty-three frogs.

When my daughter poured ketchup all over herself and rolled up in a blanket to see
how it felt to be a hot dog, I tried to see the humor rather than the mess..

In spite of changing over twenty-five thousand diapers,
never eating a hot meal and never sleeping for more than thirty minutes at a time,
I still thank God daily for my children.

While I couldn't keep my promise to be a perfect mother - I didn't even come close...
I did keep my promise to raise them in the Word of God.

I knew I was missing the mark just a little when I told my daughter we were going
to church to worship God, and she wanted to bring a bar of soap along to
"wash up" Jesus, too.

Something was lost in the translation when I explained that God gave us everlasting life,
and my son thought it was generous of God to give us his "last wife."

My proudest moment came during the children's Christmas pageant.

My daughter was playing Mary, two of my sons were shepherds and my youngest son was a wise man.
This was their moment to shine.

My five-year-old shepherd had practiced his line,
"We found the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes."
But he was nervous and said, "The baby was wrapped in wrinkled clothes."

My four-year-old "Mary" said, "That's not 'wrinkled clothes,' silly.
That's dirty, rotten clothes."

A wrestling match broke out between Mary and the shepherd
and was stopped by an angel, who bent her halo and lost her left wing.

I slouched a little lower in my seat when Mary dropped the doll representing
Baby Jesus, and it bounced down the aisle crying,
"Mama-mama."

Mary grabbed the doll, wrapped it back up and held it tightly as the wise men arrived.

My other son stepped forward wearing a bathrobe and a paper crown,
knelt at the manger and announced,
"We are the three wise men,
and we are bringing gifts
of gold,
common sense
and fur."

The congregation dissolved into laughter,
and the pageant got a standing ovation.

"I've never enjoyed a Christmas program as much as this one,"
laughed the pastor, wiping tears from his eyes
(For the rest of my life, I'll never hear the
Christmas story without thinking of gold, common sense and fur!)